“Skjdfsdan,” one of our hotshot reporters wrote as a draft lede to Best Bets. No, that’s not the French keyboard that Mr. Scarf Man got stuck in his head after his Paris vacation. That would be “azertyuiop.” We don’t know what skjdfsdan means. Maybe it could be:
Homer has really gone to the birds lately.
Our erstwhile editor escaped to Europe last month. Yes, he brought back chocolate, souvenirs and a copy of the Reykjavik Grapevine, a weekly newspaper in Iceland. The Grapevine has headlines like “Whale hunting to begin again in Iceland,” “Transcending Time and Space” and “Abandon Ship,” about Pirate Party leader Birgitta Jonsottir. In other words, it’s kind of like Homer, except the word for “airplane terminal” is umferoarmiostoo.
Spring has sprung!
“Are we out of the woods yet?”
“Here comes the sun — doo doo doo doo.”
Earlier this week the Betster drove by a big Bypass parking lot and saw sweepers in action. “Ruh-roh,” yours truly remembers thinking, “It’s going to snow.”
As we Alaskans know, living here brings many benefits: an Alaska Permanent Fund Dividend, no state sales or income taxes, and not being pulverized by chunks of Chinese spacecraft plunging to earth. Holy Fireball XL-5! Sometime this weekend, the experimental space station Tiangong-1 will come flaming down, perhaps on April 1.
The Betster saw something rather amusing the other day: a saying, proclaiming that “It’s like winter is really mad and keeps storming out of the room and then coming back yelling, ‘And another thing!’”
If you’re reading this online from your Maui vacation cottage, Betsteroids, congratulate yourself on escaping for spring break at the right time. Right after you caught the last plane out on March 9, a horrible blizzard blew in, burying downtown Homer in 6 feet of wet, sloppy snow. Eighty mph winds churned that into drifts 20 feet high, blocking the Sterling Highway at Main Street until the National Guard could bring in bulldozers to dig us out. As we write this, Pavehawk helicopters have been landing in the Safeway parking lot to bring in emergency supplies of milk, diapers and bread.
Parents, brace yourselves.
Was there ever a friend so fickle as the weather? The Betster thinks not.
The other night the Betster drew the short straw and had to cover one of those important community meetings instead of the cool literary event with Atz Kilcher and his new book.
At Monday’s Homer City Council meeting, council member Shelly Erickson suggested a little snow jujitsu.
Hold onto wool hats, people, we are nearly up to 9 hours of beautiful, bountiful, blessed light a day!
In light of President Donald Trump’s State of the Union address this week, the Betster got to thinking about the state of our quiet, quaint little Hamlet by the Sea, and decided to compile just a few events, observations and goals that other Homerites may or may not identify with.We have had an exceptionally warm year. Must remember to write to the EPA … er, Mother Nature about that.
Quake. Shaker. Tremblor. Shock Wave. Rumbler.
“For a brief moment Sunday, the southernmost tip of Alaska was warmer than the southernmost tip of Florida.”
What are we supposed to do now?