Tricky turkeys suggest alternative Thanksgiving dinner centerpiece

  • Allie S. disguised her turkey as a mermaid that tells people to eat shark instead of turkey because sharks chase mermaids.
  • Tristyn's bow-and-arrow-holding camoflauge turkey said you should eat chicken instead of turkeys so turkeys can be hunters and not go extinct.
  • You can't eat Aurora Stapp's turkey because it's not a turkey, it's a ninja. The ninja says to eat carrots instead because they give you energy.
  • Jaydon's turkey hides in a gumball machines and tells people to eat bubblegum instead of turkey becaue gum fits in your pocket and turkey does not.
  • Ellis Lorentz encourages everyone to consider anything but turkey for Thanksgiving dinner, because there are "all sorts of posabilatez" that you don't have to kill to eat. Plus, he writes, turkeys are endangered.
  • Evany Baker's turkey doesn't know where all the turkeys went. As far as he's concerned, he's just a man dressed up for a Thanksgiving date with his girlfriend.
  • Hayden Cox disguised his turkey using a rainbow assortment of crayons. He suggests people eat crayons, instead of turkey, for Thanksgiving because they are both "delicious" and "crunchy."
  • David Hrenchir dressed his turkey up like santa, complete with a tree, and suggests people eat Christmas cookies instead of turkeys because they are fun to decorate, smell good when they are baking and can be cut into any shape.
  • Berend Pearson's turkey disguised itself as a mummy and wants people to eat ham instead of turkey because there are more pigs than turkeys. It also warns that if you try to eat it, it will eat you first.
  • Here's what Jack Faber's turkey says: "You should not eat a turkey. You should eat a plant insted because plants are healthier. Also, I don't like being eaten!"
  • Margo Curtis' cat-costumed turkey suggests apples instead of turkey because, "would you like to be killed and eaten?"
  • Brady Shealy's hockey playing turkey says to eat fish, which is yummy and healthy, because turkeys are pumped with drugs to fatten them up.
  • Carlie Ray's turkey dressed up as a kitten and tells people they should eat candy instead of turkey because it is sweet and comes in different flavors.
  • Gracey's turkey dressed as a flower suggested a baked potato with bacon, sour cream and cheese would be a good turkey alternative, especially while sitting in a flower garden.
  • Max's bowling pin and ball turkey informs readers that it would be better to eat broccoli because it is full of vitamins, green, and will make you a better bowler.
  • Gabe Bradshaw decorated his turkey as Abraham Lincoln, who encourages people to eat steak instead of turkey this Thanksgiving because steak "will make you strong and tall like (Lincoln)."

Thanksgiving is a time of thankfulness and togetherness, unless you happen to be a turkey. In the case of the fine, feathered fowl that graces the tables of American families on the fourth Thursday of November, the Thanksgiving season is not a fortuitous time. Even vegetarianism can do little to settle the nerves of these birds, as only 3.4 percent of American adults are vegetarian or vegan, according to a 2015 Vegetarian Resource Group national survey. To make light on these facts of turkey life, Paul Banks second grade teacher Jennifer Olson assigned her students with the task of disguising turkeys to help them escape the holiday chopping block. Students brought home the project to work on with their family to come up with creative costumes and write reasons people should not eat turkey for Thanksgiving. Additionally, students had to come up with an alternative food item for people to replace the turkey. The sentences are written in dialogue bubbles, as if the incognito turkeys are giving this advice themselves.

“I had them give reasons not to eat turkey because the answers the kids come up with are absolutely hilarious and very clever,” Olson said. “I love that most of them tie in the reasons with what they disguised their turkeys as.” Though most might not be swayed by the camouflaged turkeys’ suggestions, the project could provide ideas for the future, just in case another delayed barge threatens to deprive Homer of the prominent protein another Thanksgiving.

— Anna Frost

 

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