Whew. Homer dodged that bullet. Just when we thought the town might get really stirred up over the annual February Controversy, pfft, the maelstrom died down after the Homer City Council spiked the inclusivity resolution.
Being a wise and sedate soul, the Betster will reserve judgment on the merits of Resolution 17-019. As civic debates go, this one pegged high for points on number of public comments, duration of public testimony and quantity of words uttered. Holy Rev. Winrod! — it sures pales in comparison to the Club Bar Incident, the infamous 1977 naked people sign thing. Speaking of which, hats off, citizens, for not sending out mailers that made hateful statements.
On the other hand, the B. didn’t wade through the 4,757 comments uttered on social media, including stuff probably said by people who have never set foot in Homer, much less could find it on a map. If you want to get a permanent room at Morningside, the Washington mental health facility, dare to read social media comments. English teachers have been known to run screaming into the night on the basis of bad grammar alone.
Wait — does Morningside still exist? That’s the third side in the joke about Alaska. There’s Inside, Outside and Morningside, where you go when you’ve been Inside too long. An old sourdough told the Betster that joke, so it must be true. Nowadays we have more advanced forms of psychiatric treatment thanks to cheap airfare to Hawaii.
Which apparently everyone except the Betster and the rest of the loyal Newsies have been to, judging by the melanin enhancement Homerites of Euro-American ancestry have acquired. Alaskans go to Hawaii in two waves, the first in January and February, and the second in a few weeks for those toiling in the educational professions.
No, the Betster does not understand why the rest of us can’t have a spring break, too. If you want to become the next Congressperson for All Alaska, run on a platform of spring breaks for everyone and you’re sure to win.
Still, longer daylight hours and sunny days may suffice as a break, especially if you like winter sports. Make your own vacation, even if it’s with an awesome weekend in town, perhaps with these Best Bets:
BEST SOW YOUR OATS BET: That’s OATS as in Outdoor Adventure Talks, the monthly even held at Grace Ridge Brewery At 5:30 p.m. today, local adventurer Bjorn Olson gets us in the Iditarod spirit with a talk about fat tire biking on the Iditarod Trail.
BEST THANKS SVT BET: Seldovia Village Tribe has graciously sponsored free winter Tuesdays and Fridays at the Pratt Museum. If you’re new to town and haven’t checked out this treasure, get a free peek from noon-5 p.m. Don’t miss the totally cool “Bikes by the Bay” exhibit by Don Henry.
BEST GET ART AND PLAY BET: With sunshine forecast for this weekend, it’s the perfect time to take an art stroll for First Friday. More galleries have opened for the season. See all the details in Arts, page 6.
BEST WHIRLING MALLETS BET: You can’t go anywhere in town without running into someone who’s in one of the current marimba bands or used to play in a marimba band. If you’ve never heard this amazing Zimbabwean music, check it out about 7 p.m. Saturday with Marimba Madness at Alice’s Champagne Palace. At 6 p.m. for $50 you also can attend a rum tasting, with music included. Proceeds benefit the Homer Council on the Arts.