I had an urge to suggest that they table their disagreement until this summer when the temps, once again, reached the blistering low 70s and the only people wearing parkas were tourists. But, decided against it when I realized that they were too intent on interrupting each other's environmental impact points while pulling the ice cleats off their boots to really give a squat what I had to say or, anyone else, for that matter.

Just as I was ready to head back out to the cabin to see if my dog Howard had inadvertently stuck his delicates to the yard light again by relieving himself against the metal pole (0 degrees doesn't register with the mutt, in fact nothing does), Wild Willie and Turk blasted through the door.

"What's up Nicko?" Willie puffed. "Izat cold enough for ya bro? Man, it's flat nasty! I hear the chill factor is down ta minus thirty. Ifen it gets any frostier, I'll start havin flashbacks about my ex girlfriend."

"I'll bet you haven't seen climate like this since you work the North Slope." Turk mumbled through his slowly defrosting beard.

"It ain't that bad guys. Up there, this kind of weather is known as break up," I chided. "What brings you two to the burg? Ole Willie have another court appearance concerning his neighbor's truck fire?"

"Naw, that's all settled," Willie whispered. "I jest gotta remember not ta use a blow torch when I'm tryin' ta see what I'm doin when I'm primin the carburetor with white gas, that's all. It took three weeks for my eyebrows to grow back and I'm beginnin' ta think I'll never get them scorched curlies outta my sideburns. Jeese, I stunk like a mattress fire fer a month."

"Yeah, well we all appreciated that personal, but unfortunately temporary, odor enhancement," Turk grumped while sliding into a chair opposite of his buddy.

W.W. ignored the cut and asked. "So, how did your truck scouting trip go to Soldotna? Find anything ya wanna buy? I'd wholesale ya mine, but it-n-me we go to far back. It would be like sellin part of the family."

"Willie, what is it with you? I know your brain's pan-fried but give the man a break. What in the hell would he want with a truck with no exhaust system, two forward gears, boat fenders for bumpers, chicken wire instead of windows, an engine with one operable cylinder, and a %&*#ing pallet for a truck bed? A seriously decomposed yak would have a better trade-in value." Turk fumed.

"So, custom rigs are out, huh? He probably couldn't meet my asking price anyways." W.W. snorted.

"OK, OK, guyschill for a second, will ya?" I pleaded, knowing that I better intercede before Turk got the idea to try the infamous orifice insertion idea on Willie just to shut him up. "The trip went fine except for the fact that it was 30 below zero when we arrived. The power steering started to stiffen up about ten miles out and by the time we hit the first car dealer, it felt like I was steering a highly annoyed rhino. Needless to say, it was bad timing for the salesmen. Half the trucks they tried to show me wouldn't turn over without being coaxed with a flamethrower and the rest just sat there like over priced beer coolers. It was a sad day for the motor industry but we'll try again when itdoesn't take a dog team to get around the sales lot and I can find an outfit that understands the concept of block heaters as standard equipment."

"Well, good luck Bro," Turk snorted. "It used to be that a guy bought a truck to use around the homestead. Nowadays, he has to sell the homestead to be able to afford the truck. And then, the only really rugged thing that he ends up with is the payment book."

"You have a point, Turk." I said. "But it's time to upgrade. There's got to be a good used rig out there that we can afford."

"I don't think so, Dude." Wild Willie muttered. "Ifen it's good, why does the owner want to get rid of it? At least mine starts."

"Willie, have you ever heard of a caffeine colonic?" I inquired while slowly fingering my cup.

"Nope," he answered. Iszat some sort of afta shave?"

"Nope, but you're going to find out if you don't stop busting my chops."

"Huh?"

"Never mind, come to think of it, how much do you want for the truck?"