It’s time for Homer’s annual Slug O-Rama Winter Feud. What’s it going to be this time, Betsteroids? The consortium library controversy? That is like so intellectual it’s hard to get worked up over. Eagle feeding? Dudes, we’ve been squabbling over that issue so long both sides have taken to using numbers to speed up the debate. Seven! Is not! Five! Peaceniks getting busted? Maybe.
Nah, our annual Cabin Fever Blow-out is likely to be some issue so seemingly trivial, so minor, so completely irrelevant, so inconsequential that it will become a huge deal. You know the drill.
Someone will propose painting the sidewalks pale green. Someone else will say, “No, they should be purple.” Then someone else will say, “Why not kind of a checkerboard pattern?” Some wise guy will say, “Why paint them at all?” Everyone will ignore this person. Letters will fly. A big town meeting will be held. After months of drang, sturm and more drang, spring will come, we’ll all go fishing and months later we’ll think, “What the heck was that all about?”
So, let’s cut to the chase, agree to disagree, say we had a feud and just not do it. That way, you can spend your time on other worthy things, like some of these Best Bets:
BEST SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL PARENTS BET: That would be you, Mom and Pop Betsteroid. We all can use some help civilizing, er, raising teenagers. Tonight at 6:30 the Homer High School PTA holds its first Parent Support Group meeting at the high school library. Come share issues, concerns and ideas.
BEST BIG ROCK CANDY MOUNTAIN BET: If the Pebble Mine happens, it will be next door to Lake Clark National Park and Preserve. Learn about the mine’s neighbors when the Cook Inlet Alliance presents talks by park rangers and visitors to Lake Clark from 7-9 p.m. today at the Alaska Islands and Ocean Visitor Center.
BEST AND THE WINNER IS BET: With Citizen of the Year nominee Michael LeMay in the news for a little civil disobedience he did at the high school last week, all of Homer — well, the Betsteroid’s 100 closest friends — are wondering if he’ll win. Or will it be the other two fine nominees, Nick Bairamis or Mary Baringer? Find out at 6:30 p.m. Friday at the Homer Chamber of Commerce’s mixer at the Best Western Bidarka Inn. The Business of the Year is also announced.
BEST GIMME ANOTHER BET: Servers, counselors and sometimes your best pals, Homer’s bartenders don’t get the credit they deserve. Whether it’s pouring you another shot or taking away your keys when you’ve had enough, they’re the unsung heroines and heroes of the bar. At 8 p.m. Saturday at the Alibi, the annual Red and Black Bartenders Ball honors them.
BEST SMILE AND SAY ‘CHEESEBURGER’ BET: If you want to help out at the Arctic Winter Games, here’s your last change to sign up and get your photo taken for that fancy badge you’ll need to wear. From 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Monday, swing by McDonald’s to register and have your photo taken.
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