As the rest of us sit in our frozen hovels, casting an eye toward Redoubt Volcano, clutching our dust masks and pantyhose in our gnarled fingers and muttering about the End Times under our breath, some of our good friends, family members and colleagues are curiously absent.

Photo provided Kachemak Bay Rotary club member Dave Brann (far right) wades into the icy waters of Kachemak Bay last Thursday with his friends Misha Luzhkov (left) and Tatiana Klepikova (center). The trio braved the chilly dip in an effort to raise money toward the completion of the 60-mile Great Baikal Trail in Russia. They raised $640.

One of the Betster's bestest buddies, for instance, is sitting on a beach in Kauai right now, sipping a Mai Tai and soaking up the melatonin whilst being fanned by a cabana boy. Another Betster colleague is in Mexico this week, probably dancing the night away to a sizzling Mariachi band, intoxicated by the warm Gulf breezes and the high-quality homegrown tequila.

How, in this economy, do these people afford these debaucherous dead-of-winter vacations?

It's obscene, really, that some folks can throw their money away on plane tickets to places that crack 70 degrees on a daily basis while the rest of us mope around the Save-U-More looking for a good deal on Spam. I mean how, in the name of all things holy, can a normally good-hearted Homerite casually stroll down a white sand Hawaiian beach with a cool breeze at his back, knowing all the while that his neighbors back home could be stone-cast in volcanic ash, like the poor fossilized citizens of Pompeii, at any moment?

And if you detect a smidge of jealousy in the Betster's tone, you're right.

Instead of longing for a week of peaceful solitude on some far-flung patch of tropical paradise, you could spend the weekend in your yurt watching the Tom Hanks masterpiece "Joe Versus the Volcano."

Or you could check out these Best Bets:

BEST CARNIV-EROUS BET: A tradition as old as window stripping and ice racing on Beluga Lake, the Homer Winter Carnival celebrates Alaska's 50th birthday this weekend with a slew of family-friendly events. From tonight's Community Awards Mixer here at the Homer News to Friday's Mardi Gras Ball at the Down East Saloon to Saturday's Winter Carnival Parade to Sunday's snowmachine races in Anchor Point, the Carnival has a little something for everyone. Check out pages 14 and 15 for the full skinny.

BEST GET OUT OF THE WAY BET: Much like bowling, billiards and dating, throwing darts is generally considered to be better after a few drinks. That piece of country wisdom is likely to get popped Saturday, however, at the Alaska State Open Dart Tournament, where the competition will be as sharp as a ... uh ... dart. Dart enthusiasts from all over the 49th state will converge at Wasabi's at high noon for the showdown.

BEST MAD SKILLZ BET: The Homer Lady Mariners basketball team, led by the dominating and fun-to-watch center Lindsay Layland, kick off two days of home court action at the Alice Witte Gymnasium tonight at 7:45 p.m. with a match-up against Eagle River followed by a Skills Competition at 5:30 p.m. Friday. See the Calendar, page 19, for more details.

BEST GRAVI-TASTIC BET: Two recent powerful snowstorms dumped a pile of the white stuff on the Extreme Tubing hill at Ohlson Mountain, putting the place back in business. For the uninitiated taking their first plunge down the 800-foot drop, a strange, sinking feeling of impending deadly carnage awaits. Two-hour sessions run Friday through Sunday. For details, call 299-2686 or visit www.extremetubing.com.

BEST BRAD PITT FIX BET: The Pittster, a favorite of the Betster, stars in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," a silver screen adaptation of the 1921 F. Scott Fitzgerald short story that was recently nominated for 13 Academy Awards, including Best Picture. If you've been longing for years to see Brad age backwards, this is a film for you. It opens at 8 p.m. Friday at the Homer Theatre.