Have you noticed how everyone in Homer sounds like they got their vocal cords scraped? Like they're speaking with their heads inside a 55-gallon drum filled with cotton candy? That's right, Betsteroids, it's Winter Crud Season. You could wear six surgical masks, wash your hands more often than Howard Hughes and hide out until June at Bear Cove, and you would still get The Upper Respiratory Infection That Ate Kachemak Bay.

This bug is nasty. Modern medicine? Tried that. Woo-woo herbal cure? Been there. Just when you think, OK, that cough is history, like a six-term senator running for re-election, it comes back. Breathing through your nose becomes a fond memory, and you reach for a tissue so often after a while you just duct tape a box to your hip.

The Good Doctor B. prescribes long naps, hot soup and takin' it easy. If while you're out trying out some of these Best Bets and you hear hacking from all around you, take heart: you're not suffering alone.

BEST FUN FILLED WEEKEND: Ever seen a snowshoe race? No, no, not those little webbed thingies — people wearing snowshoes and racing, or playing softball. Dog mushing! Roaring snowmachines! Parades! Ayup, it's Anchor Point Snow Rondi, with happenin' stuff going on all weekend. Check out the schedule in the Homer News Calendar.

BEST DOWNTOWN GEM: Sometimes Homer feels like one big college campus, so it seems fitting that the Kachemak Bay Campus is at the center of town. You might have noticed the east campus building has been gussied up a bit. From 5 to 7 p.m. Friday, the college holds an open house to show off its new digs, so swing by and see how our petrotax dollars have been spent.

BEST SO MANY DESSERTS, SO LITTLE TIME: Opera, fine desserts and chocolate. If you didn't get enough sweets for Valentine's Day, you can indulge yourself at a choice of two events this Saturday — or why not both? At 7 p.m., the Pratt Museum presents "Chocolate Decadence," with chocolate desserts and port wine. Then at 7:30 p.m., the Bunnell Street Gallery presents a soiree with opera and fine desserts. Both are fund-raisers for museum and gallery programs.

BEST THEY'VE GOT A LOTTA BRASS BET: The best of the borough performs at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday at the Mariner Theatre when Robert Ponto, director of bands at the University of Oregon, conducts the Homer High School and other Kenai Peninsula Borough honor bands. Admission is $2 and supports band festivals.