Homer's Best Bets </MCC HEAD>

Story last updated at 7:49 PM on Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Homer's Best Bets

One of the hot new utopian visions these days is an idea called "seasteading." Rather than find a lonely, deserted island in international waters on which to build a new country, seasteaders propose floating islands, kind of like big oil drilling platforms.

Photo by McKibben Jackinsky

Paul Banks Elementary School student Raven Kennedy is given a pedometer by PTA member Theresa Engebretsen before beginning the morning walk for students Tuesday. The pedometers were a gift from the Kenai Peninsula Borough School District.

Holy George Ferris! We Homerites know all about oil drilling platforms, and how sometimes they get stuck in mud and stuff. Seasteaders want to build little nations out in the back of beyond and make up their own rules. The Betster understands this compulsion. Back in high school, the B. and some friends had an idea for a utopia in which cops would drive around in cruisers painted in psychedelic designs with sirens that played Jimi Hendrix.

Heck, who doesn't want a utopia? All those pesky rules that make life irritating -- taxes, zoning and speed limits, oh my -- sure would be nice to ignore sometimes. Utopias get hung up on details, like how you make a living. According to Wired magazine, one seasteader proposes bikini bazooka parties as an income-generating enterprise. The Betster can't explain this in terms appropriate for a family newspaper.

Anyway, if you want a floating utopia that costs millions of dollars, hey, how about a crab fishing boat? Call it the Time Bandit Free Nation. Out on the Bering Sea, the only rules are catch lots of crab, don't die and don't tick off the Coast Guard. Lacking a crab boat, you could carve out a Bush empire in a corner of Alaska so remote it shows up on Google Earth as a blurry smudge.

Utopia, shtopia. Why build one out of scratch when we live in one of the best dang places on the planet? We have gorgeous scenery, cool art and neighbors who won't even take a cold beer for hauling your car out of the ditch. Better yet, we have all sorts of fun things to do, like these Best Bets:

BEST BIG BLUE BET: After their amazing victory last week over Soldotna, the Lady Mariners are jazzed. Cheer them on for their last home game of the season at 7:30 p.m. today when they take on Anchorage Christian School. The Mariner Boys play Kodiak at 3:30 p.m. Friday. Go Big Blue!

BEST WHOOP IT UP BET: Kammi Matson has been a one-woman advocate for the art of hooping. Kids, this ain't your momma's hula hoop. We're talking tricks and flash and one heck of a workout. Join Kammi and her CosmicHoopers for an all-ages HoopDance party 9 p.m.-midnight Friday at Club Fusion below Wasabi's. Never hooped before? Learn how from 9-10 p.m. Admission is a $5 cover charge.

BEST TAX TALK BETS: What do all those numbers mean in your Kenai Peninsula Borough tax bill? How is property assessed? Where does your money go? What's the current real estate market? Join the discussion at a Citizens Open Forum from 10 a.m.-noon Saturday at the Homer City Hall Cowles Council Chambers. Assemblyman Bill Smith facilitates, with Assembly President Milli Martin and Realtor Angie Newby joining the discussion.

BEST BIG CITY BET: It used to be you had to fly to Seattle to catch a big name act like Richie Havens. Not anymore. Havens' discography reads like the Brooklyn phone book, but he's known as well for his amazing live performances. Catch one of the world's legendary musicians in concert at 7 p.m. Saturday at the Mariner Theatre. Tickets are $33 at the Homer Bookstore and www.inticketing.com -- and going fast. Chicago poets and spoken word artists Oba William King and Triple Blak with the Anchorage Black Feather Poets open.

BEST SMALL TOWN BET: Hey, who needs Anchortown's winter carnival when you have the Anchor Point Snow Rondi? The big festival starts at 10:30 a.m. Saturday with a parade and all sorts of fun stuff. See story, page 1, for all the details.