Down in the Lower 48, men and women flirting in traffic can now connect with each other via a snappy little Web site coincidentally named www.flirtingintraffic.com. Back when rocket scientists invented the Internet so they could communicate with each other in the event of a nuclear war, do you think they had this in mind? Well, maybe if they did, they would have been less lonely rocket scientists, assuming they were lonely. Come to think of it, some of the wannabe rocket scientists the Betster knew in college were actually pretty hot.

Anyhew, with this Web service if you find yourself stopped in traffic and notice an attractive person in the Morris Mini Cooper stuck at the light next to you, there’s no need to call in a favor with your buddy at the DMV. If she has a flirtingintraffic.com bumper sticker, you can log in and drop her a note.

Oh, good grief, that is like so long commute. Not that people hereabouts don’t have long commutes. The Betster knows working drones who travel 30 miles or more for the glory of a steady paycheck. It’s that stuck-in-traffic thing. With one light in town, the odds of being door-to-door next to a person of interest are like pretty dang small. Suppose that did happen? You probably already know that cute guy, and if you don’t, small town intelligence systems can suss out his identity toot sweet: “Hey, do you know that dude who drives an old maroon Subaru with a lime-green right door and a duct-taped left tail light?” That should narrow down the prospects.

See? The Internet isn’t the cure-all for everything. Sometimes 15th century tech like movable type or old-fashioned snooping works just fine. All you need to find out what’s happening is to pick up the Homer News and check out Best Bets like these:

BEST ZOOT SUIT BET: That opening riff of Glenn Miller’s “In the Mood” has been going through the Betster’s head ever since hearing about the Spring Swing concert. If that big band sound gets your toes tapping, has the Homer High School Jazz Band got a treat for you. At 6 p.m. today on the Mariner Theatre stage, there’s a free dance class, with a concert and dance following at 7 p.m. Admission is $10 and includes refreshments.

BEST YO MAMA BET: No, not the play. We’re talking about women — mothers, sisters and daughters. For Women’s Month, share poems, stories or songs about women in your lives with an Open Mic at 7 p.m. Friday at the east Kachemak Bay Campus Student Association.

BEST IT REALLY IS SPRING BET: See? The ice cleared. Well, mostly, enough so that ice floes choking the boat launch last week broke up. Yee-hah! The delayed Homer Winter King Salmon Tournament is on. From 8 a.m-4 p.m. Saturday fishermen will be competing for thousands of dollars in the contest to catch the biggest king salmon. Hey, even catching one is a prize, because fishing just doesn’t get any better than this.

BEST WHAT’S A WORD WORTH? BET: While fishermen brave icy waters, wordmasters on Saturday will challenge each other in the second annual “My Word Against Yours” Scrabble tournament. Sponsored by the Friends of the Homer Public Library, the event starts 8:30 a.m. Saturday and continues at 9 a.m. Sunday at Land’s End Resort Quarter Deck.

BEST MONDO MANDO BET: In Alaska’s bluegrass scene, Joe Page is considered one of the state’s best dang mandolin pickers ever. He releases his new CD, “Alaska Mando,” at 7:30 p.m. Saturday at Wasabi’s on East End Road. Admission is $6.

BEST STENDHAL BET: When lit majors hear “Red and Black,” they reach for their composition books and start scribbling about the French revolution. This Red and Black is all about bartenders, though, with the annual “Red and Black Bartender’s Ball,” starting at 10 p.m. Saturday at the Alibi. Celebrate your local mixmeisters — and those who keep you drinking responsibly. DJ Solo spins tunes.

BEST THE SKINNY ON GITMO BET: What’s going on in Guantanamo Bay? The prison where America houses alleged enemy combatants has raised questions about human rights and the judicial process. Jumana Musa, an Amnesty International director for domestic human rights and international justice, is Amnesty’s legal observer at Gitmo. She speaks at 6 p.m. Sunday at the east Kachemak Bay Campus, and leads a discussion on human rights.