Next Tuesday on the Fourth, while everyone else massacres salmon and watches parades, we word monkeys here at the Snews will be writing away, doing our humble part to uncover unpleasant truths and otherwise practicing that good ol’ First Amendment. Hey, it’s our duty and privilege, but not a sacrifice even close to what Ben, Tom and Sam and those other patriots did when they sharpened their quills and slapped their John Hancock on the Declaration of Independence.

“We mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor,” they affirmed in making our nation. Yeah, and they might as well have put their necks in the hangin’ noose. We think of the Founding Fathers as great heroes. In the eyes of King George III, that rabble of malcontents was a conspiracy of traitors. If the revolution had failed, forget about fortunes and sacred honor. Samuel Adams et al. would have had their necks stretched.

Serious stuff, a revolution. “Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes,” Mr. Jefferson wrote, a nice poetic way of saying, “How badly do we want to do this?” We’re not talking a harsh letter to the editor, ya know, but high treason.

Somehow they pulled it off, and out of that great risk, well, here we are, these United States of America. We can celebrate the Fourth of July because 230 years ago a gang of radicals leapt into the void of history. So, as you ponder that, patriots, hey, plan your holiday, perhaps with some of these Best Bets:

BEST LITTLE SMALL TOWN PARADE BET: All over the lower Kenai Peninsula, you have your choice of small town Fourth of July events. The classic celebration is in Seldovia, but don’t forget cool happenings here on the road side of the bay. Check out our events schedule, grab an American flag and go celebrate. But hey, no fireworks — we don’t want to burn down the forest, OK?

BEST INCREDIBLE EDIBLES BET: The troopers will bust ya for growing those funny plants, but there’s no law against rhubarb. Zucchini? Maybe there ought to be. All over town, crops are coming in, so if you want to share that killer rhubarb chutney recipe, head up at 6 p.m. Friday for the Garden to Gourmet Dinner at the Carl Wynn Nature Center on East Skyline Drive. There’s great music, too.

BEST LIVE ON THE SPIT BET: Pier One Theatre on the Spit keeps doing amazing things. If you’re visiting town and want some of that off-off-way-off Broadway action, check out “Consequences of Power,” starting at 7 p.m. Friday and 3 p.m. and 7 p.m. Saturday.

BEST FAST FISH BET: If you like to catch big halibut but can’t wait around until the fall to find out if you’ve won the derby, go for the one-day version with the Independence Day Halibut Tournament. It starts at 6 a.m. Saturday with a $100 entry fee. The top three winners split 70 percent of the pot, with proceeds benefiting the Nick Dudiak Fishing Lagoon.

BEST SPREAD THOSE WINGS BET: Our buddies the sandhill cranes are back in town, dancing and whooping and carrying on, as should you at 5 p.m. Saturday at the Crane Dance with Flowmotion at the Homer Elks Lodge. Tickets are $15.

BEST POTTING PAULS BET: Doc Paul Eneboe not only cures what ails ya, he throws a mean pot, too. He and the other Potting Paul, Paul Dungan, hold a pottery sale 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Saturday-Sunday at the doctor’s studio off Ocean Drive Loop.