Man, it's tough to write a local fishing report when things are so slow in some areas that you can find more action sitting at home watching your lawn die from lack of rain.

Things are not bad all over, of course. Charters and private boats are slamming halibut, especially around Flat Island and Magnet Rock.

The Fishing Hole remains exciting if you enjoy seal watching and seeing a few old kings cruise around using their lower fins as walkers.

I almost became excited Tuesday morning when I noticed a distinguished looking gentleman filleting a small salmon at the lagoon's cleaning table. When I inquired as to what he was working on he stated, with authority, that it was a silver and that he had just landed it. He went on to claim that he had also landed a 23-pound king just the day before.

Needless to say, I was a bit stunned and stepped closer to examine the fish and smell his breath. The fish was rather dark and was old enough that it was graying around its gill plates. The guy was very nice so I didn't want to get into an argument by telling him that it was a geezer king. I just asked him what he used to catch it. He described a bright red fly that he used on the Russian River and how he nailed the fish when it flipped at his bait as it sashayed by. I asked if it hit hard and he pointed to the tail and said, "I hooked it there."

He acted surprised when I informed him that he had taken the fish illegally but that he might as well keep it since it was bit late to set it free since it would be hard for it to breathe without its basic organs.

I asked him if he had recorded his big king. Again confusion and it was then I realized that I had either met a sub species of the human race known as "The Totally Clueless" or a con man who was trying to out BS a professional BSer. After I further explained the rules, he said he was headed back to the Russian.

I wished him luck, especially with the law.

Emergency Orders and Regulation Reminders

The marine waters of Kachemak Bay opened to snagging June 24 -- except in the Nick Dudiak Fishing Lagoon area.

The Tanner crab sport, personal use and subsistence fishery in Cook Inlet opened Wednesday. A permit is required and available at the Anchorage, Soldotna and Homer Fish and Game offices. Call (907) 235-8191 for more information.

Remember, all kings incidentally hooked from Deep Creek and the Anchor River and all wild kings incidentally hooked from the Ninilchik River cannot be removed from the water and must be released immediately unharmed.

Fresh Waters: Salmon

The Ninilchik River is open to fishing for all species except for wild king salmon from its mouth to department markers located approximately 2 miles upstream. Expect totally poor fishing for hatchery kings and fair fishing for pinks and Dolly Varden.

Deep Creek and Anchor River are open to fishing for species other than king salmon from their mouths to department markers located approximately 2 miles upstream. Expect semi fair fishing for pinks and Dolly Varden, if you are an optimist. Closer to the ocean, the better your chances are for catching something other than a snag.

The bag limit for Dolly Varden is two per day and two in possession. Use small (size 3 or smaller) spinners and spoons. Anything larger might kill them if you hit them in the head. Flies or beads that imitate salmon eggs are also recommended.

Expect silver salmon to begin arriving later in the month. Try fishing near the river mouths for early arriving silver salmon. The bag limit is two per day and two in possession.

Salt Waters: Halibut

Halibut fishing has significantly improved for Lower Cook Inlet anglers. Most anglers are catching their bag limits with most halibut harvested weighing 15-20 pounds.

Daily limit is two halibut, with a possession limit of four. Herring is the preferred bait if you don't mind reeling up 200 feet every time you get a hit just to re-bait. Try slapping on an additional piece of octopus to keep them interested and your shoulder sockets from separating.

Salt Waters: Salmon

King salmon trolling success is fair in Lower Cook Inlet and Kachemak Bay and cuss worthy north of Bluff Point.

Popular trolling set-ups include herring, Hootchies, tube flies and spoons. Try using dodgers or flashers for any kind of a chance.

As I said before, king salmon fishing at the Nick Dudiak Fishing Lagoon continues to be slow to imaginary. A few lost fresh fish are arriving from time to time. Try salmon eggs, herring and blue Vibrax spinners or just reading a good book.

Look for the first silvers at the Fishing Lagoon anytime around the middle of July. It won't do any good but will give you something to do. A few cohos are rumored to have been spotted in Dogfish Bay but it's hard to cast that far.

The Fishing Lagoon will not open to snagging for king salmon.

Other Saltwater Fishing

More Dolly Varden are showing up off the end of the Homer Spit. Try fishing small silvery or orange spinners for best results.

Lingcod season opened on July 1 Many anglers target lingcod near the rock piles and pinnacles. Best fishing success is usually in the vicinity of the Chugach Islands and beyond (that's where most of the silvers seem to be at the moment).

Personal Use

The China Poot personal use dipnet fishery is open through Aug. 7. Dipnetting success has been slow but picking up; unfortunately the sockeye run is expected to be small.

Shellfish

A series of good clamming tides start Sunday and run through July 26.

Fisheries for king crab, Dungeness crab and shrimp in Cook Inlet remain closed.