Some of you out there need to chill and lay off your case of Red Bull for breakfast and energy-shooter-laced espressos.

All I said last week was the silvers were, "Starting to strut their stuff at The Fishing Hole." I didn't say they had arrived like the Normandy invasion fleet of World War II.

A few of the po'd e-mails made it sound like you immediately put in your retirement papers, sold the homestead, put your loved ones up for auction on eBay andheaded for the lagoon. Once there, you got more action from the spinner attached to your Vibrax or the plug-cut herring below your bobber than anything else so you decided to snap at me like a demented Chihuahua with a tequila hangover and a gas attack that would have taken down a rhino.

T'ain't gonna work. There was a caution included that you should have read, saving you the embarrassment of having your messages posted on Letters from the Totally Lame as an example of those who should have commentary read to them out loud for comprehension purposes.

Maybe I shouldn't be so sensitive, but jeeze stuff like that from your sister and immediate in-laws?

Anyway, more fish are arriving out there and they seem to be getting bigger and have an attitude so I'd like to recommend the following:

Kids' Fishing Day

(youths 15 years of age and younger) Nick Dudiak Fishing Lagoon on the Spit,

Saturday from 12:01 a.m.-midnight

Fish and Game staff and volunteers will be on hand from 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. to show kids how to set up fishing gear and fish, demonstrate fishing knots and how to release fish and more. Fishing gear will be available for kids to check out and use during the instruction class.

I usually lurk around the observation area eavesdropping tips from the pros. It's what professional fishing columnists do. Nobody else will give us a clue. It's either that or we have to make stuff up (see sister comment).

Emergency Orders and Regulation Reminders

The areas upstream of the two-mile regulatory markers on the Anchor and Ninilchik River and Deep and Stariski creeks open to Dolly Varden and steelhead/rainbow trout fishing on Saturday through Dec. 31.

Retention of rainbow/steelhead trout is not allowed year-round on these streams; these fish may not be removed from the water and must be released immediately. If you are unable to recognize the species, please confine your angling efforts to your offspring's wading pool.

Fresh waters

The Ninilchik River is open to fishing for all species except for wild king salmon from its mouth to department markers located approximately 2 miles upstream.

Expect poor fishing for hatchery king salmon and fair fishing for pink salmon and Dolly Varden.

The Deep Creek and Anchor rivers are open to fishing for species other than king salmon from their mouths to department markers located approximately 2 miles upstream.

Pink salmon and Dolly Varden are available in cool numbers. The limit for Dollies is two per day, two in possession. The limit for pink salmon is three per day, three in possession (if you want to admit it). It's recommended that you use size 3 or smaller spinners and spoons.

Salt waters: Halibut

Halibut angling has been good to great in the Lower Cook Inlet. Most ocean hunters are whacking two fish limits with the majority of flats harvested weighing 15-25 pounds. Fishing near Bluff Point, Point Pogibshi and Flat Island has been rockin,' if one knows where to anchor or drift. If you don't, follow a charter and position down current of the rig's scent trail. It might irritate a few pros, but they'll get over it unless they're anal fixated, have deck cannons, and you nail more fish.

For the complete Reeling 'Em In, see www.homernews.com.

Salmon:

King salmon trolling success is fair in Lower Cook Inlet and Kachemak Bay but slow north of Bluff Point.

Come on now. The last time I saw fishing so lethargic our septic tank backed up in mid winter and we still would have had a better shot at a Chinook.

Seriously, if you are out on the high seas or in a pontoon boat off the end of The Spit, viable trolling set-ups include herring, Hootchies, tube flies, and flashy stuff on-sale.

Believe it or not, there are still mental giants showing up at The Fishing Hole that are using the outlawed, bobber-snagging technique although posted rules now prohibit it.

Other salt water fishing

Dolly Varden are being taken off the end of the Homer Spit. Try fishing small gaudy things for any kind of results. Water proof lures, surface-activated, especially inclusive of minor explosives, are prohibited.

Lingcod season opened on July 1. Many anglers target lingcod near the rock piles and pinnacles. Best fishing success is usually in the vicinity of the Chugach Islands and beyond. There is a minimum size limit of 35 inches and a bag limit of 2 per day/2 in possession. Any fish intended for release must not be gaffed. The bag limit between Gore Point and Cape Fairfield is 1 per day/ 1 in possession.

Personal Use

The China Poot personal-use dipnet fishery is open through August 7. Complete regulations are found on pages 17 of the Southcentral Alaska regulation booklet.

Dipnetting success has been fair. Most dip-netters are traveling up to the falls to get their daily limit.

Shellfish

A series of good clamming tides run August 18-24. Remember the best time is one hour before to two hours after low tide.

The razor clam daily bag limit is the first 60 that you dig.

You may not release razor clams you dig - they are delicate and handling damages them, increasing their chances of dying. The fine for releasing razor clams that you dig is $100.

The minimum size for littleneck clams is 1 inches and 2 inches for butter clams. Undersized clams must be returned to the beach and should be reburied on their side or neck up. The fine for taking undersized clams is $100 plus $2 per clam.

Check your Southcentral Regulation Summary Booklet for clam limits.

Fisheries for king crab, Dungeness crab and shrimp in Cook Inlet remain closed.

The Tanner crab sport, personal use and subsistence fisheries in Cook Inlet is open through December 31. A permit is required and available at the Anchorage, Soldotna and Homer Fish and Game offices.