As if life isn’t spooky enough what with war, famine, genocide and driving Thrill Hill on the first snowfall of winter without studs, those godless pagans had to go and spice things up with another obscure ancient ritual. Holy Mutilated Fruit, Betsteroids, you know what next Tuesday is?

No, no, it’s not Election Day. If a creature shows up at your door wearing a school marm hairdo, black square-rimmed glasses, a red power tie and an 87-point educashun plan, it’s not Tonysarandrew, candidate for gubner, but some kid in a really clever Halloween costume.

As longtime townies know, Halloween isn’t just a day to celebrate ghouls and things that go “oops” in the night. If you live downtown, expect to answer the door. A lot. From Diamond Ridge to Fritz Creek, do kids dare to walk down dark, freshly paved roads, trick-or-treating their neighbors? Of course not. They go for the easy pickings.

That’s Halloween in the little city. With the weekend close enough to All Ghouls Day, there are plenty of opportunities for costuming and and gorge-on-sweets-till-you-puke, like some of these Best Bets:

BEST CATWALK BET: Hey, Wearable Arts models don’t purr down the catwalk — they roar. This year’s theme is “A Play on Words,” with all sorts of real stupid puns. Tickets are $12 at The Fringe, the Homer Bookstore and Ptarmigan Arts, with shows at 6:30 p.m. and 9 p.m. Friday at Land’s End Resort. The show sells out fast, so don’t delay.

BEST GET WET BET I: They’re slick and they’re fast, those Mariner swimmers. Cheer ‘em on starting at 10 a.m. Friday when Homer High School is host for Regions at the Kate Kuhns Aquatic Center. Regions continues, starting at 10 a.m. Saturday.

BEST GET WET BET II: When you’re out on the sea, the one thing you don’t want to do is get wet. Hey, if you do, U.S. Coast Guard swimmers stand ready to pluck ya out of the seas — the story in “The Guardian,” now showing at the Homer Theatre. You can support the Coasties by going to the 8:15 p.m. showing on Friday, a fund-raiser for the local U.S. Coast Guard Morale Fund for Coast Guard families.

BEST OCHEN HOROSHO BET: Here’s some nice, clean, safe Halloween weekend fun. Well, mostly clean. Otter Beach Educational Center sponsors The Monster Ball from 6 p.m. until the bats come home Saturday at Alice’s Champagne Palace. A smoke-free, alcohol-free event, there’s weird food, a costume contest and rockin’ dance music for ghouls of all ages. Slip out at 11 p.m. for “The Rocky Horror Show” at the Homer Theatre and do the time warp again.

BEST NOW IT FEELS LIKE HOME: You won’t be bumping elbows this Saturday at the Friends of the Homer Library fall book sale from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. at the new Homer Public Library. What would the library be without a chance to pick up some tattered old, well-read cheap paperbacks? Friends of the Homer Library members get first pick from 6-8 p.m. Friday night.

BEST CHOW DOWN BET: Great food, great music and good company. You can’t beat a night at the Alibi with a pig roast and music by Elders on Fire. Better still, it’s a fund-raiser, as the Alibi teams up with Safeway to raise money for breast cancer research and awareness. The feast runs noon-6 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are $12 a person, $27 a family.