The last time your favorite Thursday morning paper reported Augustine Volcano was a little restless but not likely to blow, well, wouldn’t you know it? Kaboom! Blame it on Wednesday newspaper deadlines. How were our crack reporters supposed to know Augustine would pop at 2 a.m. Thursday, March 27 1986? Never mind that March 27 was the date of the Great Alaska Earthquake. That was only a coincidence, just like the Exxon Valdez spill happened on Good Friday.

Anyhew, scientists have made Augustine a Code Yellow, which on the Sesame Street Homeland Security Advisory System scale is Code Bert. We haven’t gone up to Code Ernie or (uh-oh) Code Elmo. Heck, Mount Spurr has been at Code Yellow for like months now, and do you see Anchoragites stocking up on dust masks?

Not that a little ash would be a bad idea this week. Sure, it would play heck with cross country skiing, but considering how slick Thrill Hill and other charming little roads have been, friction reducing substances of the volcanic kind couldn’t hurt.

Volcanoes. High winds. December rain. All we need is frogs falling from the sky, a plague of locusts, crop circles and mysterious lights over the bay and it could be a Twilight Zone episode.

If your life feels like the Twilight Zone, really, it’s not you. This is just life in the winter time at Latitude 59 degrees. If you’re looking for something normal, hey, why not try some of these Best Bets?

BEST AND YOU THOUGHT HAGGIS WAS BAD BET: The Betster lost the secret family recipe for lutefisk, but it goes something like this: take a perfectly good piece of cod and torture it. Why? It’s a Norwegian thing. If you have to ask the question, you wouldn’t understand the answer. If you want to try this, uh, traditional Scandinavian cuisine, check out Faith Lutheran Church’s annual lutefisk dinner at 6 p.m. Friday. Regular food is also served.

BEST MORE NORMAL FOOD BET: Like more traditional food? From 4:30-6 p.m. Friday for the opening games of the Mariner basketball season, the booster club serves all variety of chili in the Homer High School commons. Stick around for the girls and boys games. It’s a fund-raiser for the hoopsters, so eat early, eat often.

BEST REALLY NORMAL FOOD BET: If even chili is too wild for your palate, make it lunch on Tuesday for the Share the Spirit Spaghetti Feed. You workaholics don’t even have to leave your desk, because you can order a meal to your office. The feed is 11 a.m.-7 p.m. at the Homer Elks Lodge. To-go orders can be called in 8 a.m.-noon at 235-2172.

BEST CHEAP LABOR BET: Bid cleverly, and you might be able to get a Kachemak Bay Campus student to sand your walk for dang near nothing. Need a little help for the holidays and want to help out the student association? Check out the auction at 7 p.m. Saturday at the college east campus. Students volunteer their time to help you out in return for donations. Don’t forget the student art showcase opening from 5-7 p.m. Friday in the commons.

BEST AND THE HOLIDAY GOES ON BET: Can’t figure out what to do? There are all sorts of holiday activities continuing this weekend, from the second weekend of the Nutcracker ballet to Pet Photos with Santa to Christmas carols. Check out the holiday happenings bet on the Calendar page.