Ah, yes, the Betster remembers fondly that one New Year's Eve where your entertainment guru got elephants on white Russians at a quaint little Tiki bar in Florida. (Elephants? You know, Cockney rhyming slang: elephant's trunk, drunk.) The evening ended with the B. bowing down before the porcelain god and chanting its sacred name: "Ralph, Ralph."

OK, why do otherwise sensible adults go out and drink themselves to embarrassment, not to mention regurgitation and headaches? Why do we find the need to celebrate the passing of a year by doing something we later regret? Where's the fun in that? Maybe those wild and crazy square dancers have the right idea. They cram into a big boat barn and dance the year away.

Here's a thought: celebrate in moderation. Eat wonderful food. Enjoy the companionship of close friends. Count your blessings and greet the New Year with joy in your hearts - and not so stinking drunk the first minutes of 2005 are forgotten.

BEST MONA LISA ON RYE: Yo, you want your da Vinci to go Buddha style - you know, one with everything? The soup du jour could be the art du jour at the Bunnell Street Gallery's annual Edible Art Extravaganza from 8 to 10 p.m. New Year's Eve. This is art so good you can eat it. Local artists create amazing edible art, and after judging, you get to eat it. Tickets are $18 for gallery members, $20 for general admission.

BEST AFRICA'S CHILDREN BET: War, AIDS, poverty and famine has orphaned thousands of African children. In Freetown, Sierra Leone there's a ray of hope, the All As One Children's Care Center. Sunday at 1 p.m., the Christian Community Church holds an African Dinner fund-raiser to support All As One. Call 226-2040 for information.

BEST WHAT WOULD ALICE DO BET? It doesn't seem right to celebrate New Year's without Alice's Champagne Palace, but hey, Homer's other fine drinking establishments are open. From East End Road to the Spit, there will be dancing and music. Remember to drink responsibly, and have a designated driver, because the cops and troopers will be out there to keep our highways safe. Had one too many? Homer's taxi cab companies once again offer free rides home from 7 p.m. New Year's Eve to 7 a.m. New Year's Day.