'Twas the Morning before Election Day

By Joshua Caspene Wisner

Short story fiction

Grade 3

'Twas the morning before Election Day and the weather was quite dark. I jumped out of bed excited to see what would happen. It turned out everybody was saying, "Which should I choose: Quad Hopper or Inbo Glob?" I know those are no ordinary names, but this was no ordinary election. It was an election in a far away land called Sever Town on a planet called Fregno.

There are many different things they do on Fregno, but I'm not going to mention them. There were no humans on this planet. There were only aliens on this planet. I wouldn't call them aliens but I can't pronounce their real names. Well I think you know enough about this planet for now.

The election was getting quite frantic. The aliens were reading the local dust to see what the candidates would do, including lowering dirt prices. Aliens were taking days off from business meetings. It was a disaster!

One day a small alien was coming to the election stand when he heard a small noise. It sounded like blades clanging and at the same time he could hear a bell ringing and a fire crackling. He looked behind a fizzy tree and saw George Washington and Abraham Lincoln sword fighting! Since the little alien had no idea who they were, he said "Who in Fregno are you?" "What?" asked George Washington (he didn't hear him.) The former president firmly said "I am George Washington and he is Abraham Lincoln," pointing a finger. He continued talking. "Who do you happen to be?" The small alien said "I am Fignog." "I've supported people who were brown, but never green," said Abraham Lincoln. "Wait one minute! You look like an alien," said Fignog. "Well you look like an alien yourself," said Washington. "I am," said Fignog, "and what are you doing on my planet!!!!" "Well-um-eh-u good question," said Washington. "Should we tell them?" asked George Washington. "I guess so," said Abraham Lincoln. "Well, we are from earth and we wish to take over this planet." Fignog gasped! Then he said, "You and what army?" He looked over and saw 38 presidents with stoves. "What are those for?" said Fignog.  "You mean the stoves?" said George Washington. "Yes, I mean the stoves," said Fignog. "Oh I thought war was a little overrated--- they're for a cook off!" said George Washington. "Whatever," said Fignog, with relief and he walked away.

The next day the bake-off began. The Fregnoins won by a whopping five googolplex pizzas against a measly fifty-two. So the Fregnoins kept their planet and George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were banished from the planet.     

And at least the Fregnoins had a happily ever after.... UNTIL a hurricane came! It was the largest thing they had ever seen! All of a sudden a face formed on the hurricane. It said, "I am Bucky Luke." "Bucky what?" said Fignog. "BUCKY LUKE!"  Repeated Bucky Luke (the hurricane). "Well anyway I've heard you were pretty good cooks. What's your secret...oh, wait, I forgot my microphone!" said Bucky Luke. (Fignog could not hear him because Bucky Luke did not have his microphone on.)

Fignog started to run. When he came back he had a huge frying pan. He waited, and waited, and waited until Bucky Luke came back. He hurled the frying pan at him. Bucky Luke flew away to some other planet called Felondai and finally Fregno was restored to its natural form.

Meanwhile, the Fregnoins still could not figure out who would be president. Finally the Fregnoins decided, "Who needs presidents?" Now that they didn't need an election, there was absolutely nothing exciting going on in Fregno...until people from Forigoe came to Fregno.

The people from Forigoe were humongous stinging robots who wished to take over the other four planets in their solar system. The Fregnoins had only one thing they where good at: food fights! They got their catapults ready. The really, really weird war began! Humongous pancakes filled the air. The Fregnoins completely covered the robots with pancakes. Then they got humongous bottles of syrup and covered the pancakes with it. The syrup damaged the robots' systems, and they fell to the ground. The odd war was over! Now Fregno was very, very peaceful, and so it will stay.