As regular readers of our Cops and Courts section know, the pace of police activity changes come summer. In winter Homer’s finest deal with the usual small town despair: driving under the influence, disorderly conduct, domestic violence assault and drug possession. As soon as the sun starts shining and the snow melts, things can get a bit, uh, odd.
On a normal summer day, the unusual includes people locked in bathrooms who can’t get out, people locked in bathrooms who don’t want to get out, porcupine attacks, the strange sight of moose calves on the side of the highway, tents swamped at high tide and black bears in Dumpsters.
Not that we want to discourage tourists, but they might fall prey to petty crimes, like the disappearance of coolers of beer off the back of motorhomes. It may surprise some people that juveniles like to steal booze. No, you never did that as a teenager, did you?
Stuff happens in this town at the end of the road. We may be small, we may have great restaurants, we may have friendly people and awesome views, but we also have crime. People get drunk. People do drugs. People endure lives of quiet desperation.
We try to show compassion, but if you get rowdy, expect a visit from a nice person with a badge, a gun, handcuffs and a firm voice who may provide you with housing that involves steel bunks and thin blankets — but good food. Homer Senior Citizens has the jail food contract, and like our finest elders, prisoners get Meals on Wheels, too.
So watch out for those moose, keep your coolers and trash secured, and behave. We can all get along and enjoy this amazing town, peacefully and civily, perhaps with these Best Bets:
BEST FIRST FRIDAY: Visitors, this is when our town shines, with art gallery openings on Friday. Check out the list on page 12, meet the artists and maybe pick up an original souvenir to take home. You’ll see why Homer has been named one of America’s top 100 art towns.
BEST IRIE BET: You know it’s going to be all right with the positive sounds of reggae superstar Clinton Fearon. Shake off the chains of Babylon and find your groove at 9 p.m. Friday at Alice’s Champagne Palace. Tickets are $15 in advance, $20 at the door. It’s part of the Salmonfest Music Series in partnership with Alice’s.
BEST THE BIG THREE-FIVE BET: Help the Center for Alaskan Coastal Studies celebrate its 35th anniversary with its Spring Fling from 6-11 p.m. Saturday at Wasabi’s Restaurant. Tickets are $100.
BEST SUPER MARY BET: Mary Epperson has departed this physical plane and gone off, but we still remember her fondly every June 6 for Mary Epperson Day, as proclaimed by His Honor, Mayor Bryan Zak. Celebrate the mother of Homer arts with a big bash from noon-6 p.m. There will be live entertainment, refreshments and a hoop-a-thon. A $25 donation gets a chance at a $300 gift basket. Proceeds support HCOA’s Yurt Expansion project.