We live in a time of great transition, Betsteroids. Chaos has descended upon the world. What once seemed black and white has become a muddled, confusing gray. Great things will happen this month as forces more powerful than any of us get unleashed.
That’s right: We’re talking Breakup, with a capital B, the fifth season that tourist brochures don’t talk about. Who wants to visit Alaska when snow gives way to mud, and mud turns into dust that chokes bicyclists, runners and walkers? You cannot calculate the revolution around the sun without including Breakup. Deny Breakup at your peril.
Breakup eats trucks on Beluga Lake, because someone with more testosterone than intellegence thinks the ice will hold just a little longer. Breakup causes Subarus to sink to their axles, because that road that seemed solid on an icy morning has turned to mud by mid-day. Breakup believes in misery for all and spares no one from her wrath.
But fear not. Soon all the snow will melt. Soon the dust will be swept away. Soon bands of volunteers will clean trash from our streets and ditches. Our town will emerge stronger and better, ready to welcome visitors from far-off lands.
In the meantime, put on those rubber boots and slog through it, because mud or dust, there’s always something amazing to do in this town, like these Best Bets:
BEST WEIRD STUFF BET: We live in beachcomber’s paradise what with a) all those beaches and b) ginormous ocean currents that toss stuff our way. Avid beachcomber Janiece West talks about some of the cool stuff she’s found all over the world in “My Life is At the Beach” from 5-6 p.m. today at the Pratt Museum.
BEST LIKE A SHARK BET: You know why a shark doesn’t sink? Because it keeps on swimming. That’s the attitude of our top lifelong learners: keep learning, of course. Honor their achievements and get inspired in the Celebration of Lifelong Learning at 6 p.m. Saturday at the Homer Public Library. Lifelong learner Milli Martin and youth learner Erin Gillam receive the awards. Alaska Writer Laureate Frank Soos delivers the keynote address.
BEST GO HOXIE BET: Hoxie Parks is going through a little bit of a medical struggle in Seattle, but you know Homer: Hoxie, we’ve got your back. Help raise funds at Surf and Ski for Hoxie from noon-2 p.m. Sunday at the Ohlson Mountain Rope Tow. A suggested donation of $10-15 includes rope tow, food and a door-prize raffle ticket. Don’t forget to bid on silent auction items.
BEST THOSE WHO DARE BET: It’s a classic plot — boy learns lesson from wise elder, but “Winter Bear” has an Alaska twist. Showing at 7 p.m. Wednesday at the Mariner Theatre, the Perseverance Theatre, Juneau, play is about a teenager, Duane, sentenced to chop wood for Koyukon Athabascan elder Sidney Huntington. A fundraiser for Bunnell Street Art Center’s Artist in the Schools, the play also is part of a statewide educational project sponsored by The State of Alaska Department of Health and Social Services and several Native corporations. Admission is $10.