The holiday season seems to mess up time. People used to celebrating holidays in chronological order — first Halloween, then Thanksgiving and then Christmas — can just forget about that. Starting in October, it’s like time has been put in a blender and pureed.
Holy relativity! In that new science fiction movie, “Interstellar,” an astronaut travels so fast through space time moves more slowly for him. This leads to all sorts of plot complications, like the astronaut’s daughter aging faster than dad. That would mess up the family dynamics, eh?
Yeah, the holidays get like that. Christmas comes before Thanksgiving. Heck, in some places, like national retail chain stores, Christmas comes before Halloween, or at least the marketing of it. Then when we get to the proper celebrating of Christmas — that’s no earlier then Friday — the days just zip along, small children excepted. For small children, Christmas just takes forever.
Not that we’re helping. Here at the Homer News, it says “Thursday, Nov. 27” up there at the top, but the paper got printed on Tuesday and hit that stands on Wednesday. Hey, editors, reporters, graphic artists, administrative assistants, printers and delivery drivers all want to eat turkey with their families, too. You did not time travel into the future and get the paper a day early.
So take a deep breath, recalibrate things and embrace the season. Sooner than you know it, the winter solstice will be here, and then Christmas and New Year’s Eve and ohmygosh is it January already? Take time for yourself and your family with these Best Bets:
BEST GOBBLE GOBBLE BET: Does a tofurkey say “Gobble, gobble?” Who knows? In Seattle the mayor pardoned one, so perhaps we’ll find out. Vegan or not, if you’re looking for a place to enjoy a meal, check out the list of community Thanksgiving dinners on pages 1 and 7.
BEST DANCE AWAY BET: If you ate just a little bit too much for Thanksgiving, dance away the calories at the monthly Square and Contra dance, starting at 7:30 p.m. Friday at West Homer Elementary School. And don’t forget to wear those clean, soft-sole shoes.
BEST GET STUFFED BET: Graham-cracker houses, crafts and a visit with Santa at the Homestead Cabin. That’s become the tradition at the Pratt Museum Stocking Stuffer Party, held the Saturday after Thanksgiving — 1-4 p.m. this Saturday.
BEST 20 YEARS ALREADY BET: Another holiday tradition is NOMAR’s annual open house, now in its 20th year at the store on Pioneer Avenue. Wow — time flies. If you missed Santa on Saturday at the Pratt, here’s another chance to visit with Mr. Claus
BEST WHO KNEW? BET: Learn about Kachemak Bay and the surrounding area with local experts from 3-5 p.m. next Wednesday for the Local Knowledge Discovery Lab at the Alaska Islands and Ocean Visitor Center.