Go to any meeting around town and you’re likely to hear the call of Homerus cruditis — that beast we transform into when the spring rhinovirus hits town. Holy hippopotamus! No, we’re not talking a beast with big horns, but rhino as in “nose,” an infection that takes up residency in your schnozzle. Not being content with the warm, moist microclimate there, the virus also migrates down into your chest.
Theories abound as to why Homer gets a spring crud. It could be all those germs people pick up traveling on spring break. Or, maybe it’s the dust. With early breakup, our roads have become sets for desert disasters. You know that scene where the hero goes into the Sahara on a camel to rescue the crashed airplane and a sandstorm roars in like an avenging blob? That could be filmed in downtown Homer.
The Betster gets that the Department of Transportation and Public Facilities might not want to sweep up all that dirt just yet for fear a killer blizzard might hit us. After all, the weekend weather forecast calls for a chance of snow, about an inch. Still, if the state could get around to sweeping up its roads sometime in the near future, gee, that would be spiffy. We’re pretty sure the city will start cleaning its streets real soon now.
Maybe we get the spring crud as a reminder that when it comes to Alaska winters, suffering will be our lot despite the passing of the equinox. Somewhere in America there must be a town with neat and tidy seasons that end precisely when they’re supposed to. That would not be New England, unless the Betster’s sisters from Back East have been lying on their Facebook feeds. Apparently the Northeast got the winter we had ordered last fall.
So keep hydrating, wash your hands, cover your coughs and tough it out, Betsteroids. You’ll get better soon. When you do, you can celebrate with something fun, like maybe these Best Bets:
BEST HOT WAX BET: Vinyl? Yes, you can pick up genuine, long-playing vinyl albums at KBBI Public Radio’s CD and vinyl sale. The sale for members only is 3-6 p.m. today and for the general public is 9 a.m.-7 p.m. Friday. Proceeds support KBBI.
BEST HOT HOUSE BET: No, we’re not talking those high tunnel greenhouses that are all over the lower Kenai Peninsula, but our own house, this big blue marble we live on. You might have noticed the climate has gotten a bit wonky lately. For the Kachemak Bay Conservation Society’s annual meeting, singer, songwriter and activist Libby Roderick presents “If Your House is On Fire: Taking Action on Climate Change.” She looks at how we talk about climate change and how we can regain a sense of hope. The event starts at 6:30 p.m. today at the Alaska Islands and Ocean Visitor Center.
BEST HOT CUP BET: We hope one of our local volcanoes doesn’t blow like it did a few years ago for the annual Ash Cup Men’s Hockey Tournament — hence the name — but you can bet the ice action will be hot. The tournament starts at 6 p.m. Friday and continues at 8 a.m. Saturday and 8 a.m. Sunday at the Kevin Bell Ice Arena. Activities help raise funds for the arena, with a celebration after the games on Sunday for Kevin Bell Day. For more information, see story, page 12.
BEST HOT OPINIONS BET: Voice your thoughts on House Bill 148, Medical Assistance Coverage Reform, with a public hearing at 3 p.m. Saturday at the Legislative Information Office. Hearings are held frequently at the LIO on a variety of bills. Call 235-7878.