Protect us from the fence painters

  • Wednesday, March 11, 2015 4:09pm
  • News

OK, how many of you in citizenville are aware that as of January 2015, anyone who hires out as a “Handyman” must henceforth be licensed, bonded and insured? That’s right, it is now illegal for some poor laborer to dig someone a ditch or paint their fence without first forking out a few hundred bucks annually for the privilege. In their never-ending crusade to protect every single one of us from every possible misfortune in every conceivable circumstance, our enlightened legislators have once again cooked up a regulation to safeguard us from each other.

Well what’s good for the peon is good for the master, I say.

    So how about a ballot initiative requiring all candidates for public office to immediately take an IQ test after filing to run. Let’s say they have to complete the Standford-Binet Scale of Intelligence and score a minimum of 125 (“gifted”) before they could get their name on the ballot.

The premise, of course, is that it benefits public welfare to have our lawmakers possess more wit than the people they serve. Scores would be made public and multiple attempts permitted. And those pesky lawyers can’t whine about the constitutionality of the law — after all, they have to pass the Alaska Bar before practicing their trade.

Obviously, such a regulation won’t protect us from every single incompetent wannabe, but I’ll sleep better knowing that yet another real menace has been eradicated — along with those rascally fence painters.

Anyone want to lead the charge?

            Oliver Makin


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