Homer’s Best Bets

As the latest whining about our heat wave shows, you just can’t please Homerites. Let the temperature fall below 5 degrees (“balmy,” as they say in Fairbanks) and we’ll say, “Oh, I hope next summer is really warm.” Then when we get a fantabulous stretch of weather like we’ve had since last week, we start grumping about how it’s just too dang hot.

Sure, the Betster gets the whole concern about fire danger. Right here in the second paragraph, let’s repeat the warning: Do. Not. Burn. There are fires up north on the Kenai Peninsula and in Willow, and the National Weather Service has issued red flag warnings. Open burning is suspended, and unless you have a State Forestry brush truck parked nearby, it’s probably not a smart idea to build a campfire. If you do, have plenty of water nearby, burn on bare ground or gravel, with a 10-foot clearance of noncombustible material and no flames larger than 3 feet. Oh, and put the fire out. In other words, don’t make a fire like your average Bishop’s Beach Bum or Spit Rat moron does it.

The Betster thought Alaskans would be tougher. The Betster thought that a people who can endure earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes, bears, blizzards and tourist traffic could handle temperatures in the low 80s. The Betster was wrong. Most Alaskans don’t have the harsh upbringing of the Betster, who grew up in Florida before air conditioning became common. Y’all don’t know heat until it’s 95 degrees and humidity is 100 percent. A summer like that when the Betster had been laid off and couldn’t afford electricity for AC is why Yours Truly came north.

Really, what we’ve been going through might be a tad on the warm side, but it’s quite pleasant. Drink plenty of water. Wear loose clothing. Don’t exercise too hard in mid-day. Wear shorts or skirts. Run fans. Open a window. You’ll do just fine. Keep it up for a few more days, because the weather forecast calls for more sunshine, and a chance to enjoy some awesome outdoor activities, like these Best Bets:


BEST S’MORE FUN BET: Enjoy s’mores, root beer floats, pizza and great conversation around the safely-built campfire at 5:30 p.m. today for Kachemak Heritage Land Trust’s open house and Homer Chamber of Commerce and Visitor Center After Hours Mixer. KHLT is at the end of Klondike Avenue on Poopdeck Platt’s original homestead. Park on Klondike or at Bay Realty on Pioneer Avenue.


BEST BIG STICKS BET: Speaking of skirt-like apparel, you’ll be seeing lots of fine muscled legs this weekend for the seventh annual Homer Scottish Highland Games when Scottish athletes throw big rocks and sticks, all wearing the mandatory kilt attire. Part of CeltFest, the games start 9:30 a.m. Saturday at Karen Hornaday Park. CeltFest starts at 4 p.m. Friday with a tug-of-war championship at the park. At 7 p.m. Friday Celtic band Tempest performs, also at the park. Sign-up for the games is at 8:30 a.m.


BEST GOOD DEALS BET: You can tell it’s summer when the garage sale signs start outnumbering the dandelions along the highway. Here’s a big one bound to have some good deals, the Homer United Methodist Church’s Community Garage Sale, held 9 a.m.-3 p.m. the third Saturday of the month through summer. Indoor and outdoor space is available to rent for $20 a day indoor or $15 a day outdoor.  Call 235-8528 to reserve a space.


BEST BIG MUDDY BET: We’re not talking the Mississippi River here, but the Ninilchik Chamber of Commerce Clam Scramble Mud and Obstacle Run starting with registration at 10:30 a.m. Saturday at Deep Creek River State Park. The race starts at noon. Proceeds benefit Ninilchik Emergency Services. Hang out after the race for The Clam Jam at the Kenai Peninsula Fair grounds. For more information, visit Ninilchikchamberofcommerce.com.