I am sharing in hopes of encouraging anyone who is suffering in silence to tell someone. With help you can find the light switch and even turn it on.
Waiting to be still with my thoughts.
Sleepless and unable to find joy.
Stranded by fear and loathing for self.
Laughter is long forgotten
as I wait for dawn.
Thoughts that lead to nowhere are never ending.
Passion for what’s to come is gone.
Dreams are void of promise.
But yet I stay?
Always waiting, for the
darkness to come.
Maybe tomorrow will bring a reason
to still my thoughts and heal my soul.
What’s wrong with me? A question
I’ve asked myself since childhood.
I may never know.
Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?
Why? Why? … Worry, worry, worry.
Try I do, but it won’t stop.
People say you have to
love yourself, but how?
I sit and watch, and wonder how othersseem so happy.
When they go home do they relive every detail?
Do they worry, if, the next time you see them, will they say hello?
Are you judging me?
If I don’t talk, you can’t find out I don’t belong, anywhere.
As the years pass, I find I’m becoming more isolated, afraid and looking forward to the darkness.
What’s become of me? Should I move? Should I spend the rest of my sunsets on a beach? Alone in my mind … maybe?