The obvious joke today would be to write something about it being 4-20. Holy sinsemilla, dude! You don’t know about 4-20? Let us just say that in cannabis culture, 4:20 p.m. and April 20 count as cosmic moments. It’s a long, convoluted explanation that only makes sense if you’ve consumed a few bowls of Kachemak Krush — done responsibly, of course.
Yours truly believes in humor deeper than Cheech and Chong pot jokes. Laughter should not come from switching off the brain from intoxicating substances, but from serious stuff. Painful stuff. Stimulating stuff.
You know, like walking pneumonia.
If you’ve sat in a medical clinic recently, you’re all too familiar with what the Betster means. The Homer Crud. Every spring a nasty upper respiratory infection rages through town. Maybe it comes from snowbirds returning from the Southwest. Maybe one of us picked it up on the big aluminum germ farms known as jet planes. Maybe Jessica at kindergarten passed it on to Watson in fourth grade who gave it to his big sister Melissa in high school, and since teenagers don’t sleep and have adolescent challenged immune systems, ka-pow! The cold stuck.
Which is how even if you got a flu shot and a pneumonia shot and have been eating right, getting plenty of exercise and mostly enough sleep, the Homer Crud wipes you out. One day you have a tickle in your throat and the next you’re hacking up props for a bad 1950s sci-fi monster film. Pay attention to your bodies, Betsteroids. They’re trying to tell you something.
Well, here’s hoping we all pull through this last gasp of winter and emerge boldly into beautiful sunshine, healthier and happier. It’s Earth Day weekend, and you know what that means? Cool things to do, like these Best Bets:
BEST DOWN AND DIRTY BET: The Homer Outdoor Wilderness Leader kids have been out scouring the streets this week in an early run at cleaning up our town. Help them celebrate their hard work, and raise some funds for HoWL, at the Dirtbag Ball at 5:30 p.m. Friday at Alice’s Champagne Palace. The evening includes music by the Devils Club Trio, an all-you-can eat Sundae Bar, door prizes and auctions.
BEST THE ROAR OF THE GREASEPAINT BET: If you missed “Circus Auditions” last weekend, the Betster hears it’s a hoot and not to be missed. The plot has something to do with a circus troupe getting gear lost in Arkansas. Or is it Alaska? Fear not: you can catch it at 7:30 p.m. Friday or Saturday at the Mariner Theatre.
BEST BIG PLANET, BIG DAY BET: The word on the street is that the sandhill cranes have returned, so what better sign to celebrate Earth Day? Show some love for the planet with the annual clean up from 10 a.m.-2 p.m., including the electronics recycling, the March for Science at 3 p.m. and the unveiling of the Artists Know Climate Change bash at 5 p.m. at the Alaska Islands and Ocean Visitor Center. For all the details, see story, page 1.
BEST SPIN IT BET: As with most sports, it’s all in the wrist action. Limber up for Moose Pretzel Disc Golf’s Earth Day Disc Golf Tournament by helping out with some course preparation and clean up. The work party starts at noon Saturday at Jack Gist Park and the tournament is at 4 p.m. The entry fee is $20, including a commemorative disc, but $10 if you join the work party.
BEST GATHERING IT OLD SCHOOL BET: The Dena’ina people figured out how to harvest and use local foods long before Europeans arrived here. Learn about “Native Plant Use in the Dena’ina Culture” at 7 p.m. Tuesday for the monthly Homer Native Plant Society meeting at the Center for Alaskan Coastal Studies.